3 Months Post-Op

Wow.  It feels weird to even type 3 months post-op, but that's what it is.  I feel like I've missed so much in the jaw surgery blogosphere!  It's been fun catching up on all your progress.  Congratulations to everyone with surgery dates!  I remember how good it felt to just know the date. 

Like many other bloggers, updating you guys months into recovery becomes harder and harder to do, because ... Well, because you're simply not as obsessed with jaw surgery as much as you were before you had it.  Life goes on, and with it come all the other things that you're left to obsess about.  For me, that's been work.  I didn't really tell my new boss or fellow co-workers that I had just had jaw surgery either--- the HR department knew, but I didn't want to be "that girl" at my new workplace.  Not being able to talk about jaw surgery 24/7 made not think about it either. So, I've been ridiculously busy trying to keep up pace with the new job, and in the interim, had to stop paying attention to my face, and thus stop blogging--- for a bit!

So, how is my face doing these days?  Well, my swelling has really gone down.  I can still feel it when I hold my hands up to my cheeks, but most people (including me) can barely see it anymore.  Also, I can now open and close my mouth without that horrible, jarring, TMJ clicking and popping pain.  It used to freak me the hell out, but I don't even have the slightest sensation of that anymore.

I can also open wide enough for most foods now (pretty much 3 fingers--I'm about half a finger away from 3).  I still have to smush down sandwiches a bit in order to fit the whole thing in my mouth, but they get in there!  I also still chew kind've slowly--- or at least, I mean I can't chew as fast or as much food as I used to in one bite, but I think it's a matter of time before I can chew like I used to. 

I went in for my 2nd to last braces adjustment 2 weeks ago, and my orthodontist continues to be impressed with the results, and most especially my recovery (he digs how wide my mouth opens).  At the moment, he's closing all remaining gaps in my teeth.  My next adjustment is July 3rd, and he said I'd only need the braces for 3 more weeks after that, and then be done.  I'm just a LITTLE bit bummed that I won't be out of braces before July because my birthday is on the 9th, but I'm seriously not stressing it. I've waited this long, what's a few more weeks?

As far as my appearance before and after; there's a definite noticeable difference.  My parents think I look really different--- they love the results, but they're still adjusting to the changes.  Friends think I look younger and that my face looks more "angular."  I guess that makes sense.  My surgeon did work to make my lower jaws and chin much more symmetrical, and coupled with the fact that she pulled my lower jaw "out" to address my recessed chin, I could see how my face looks more angular to people. I can see it myself in some recent photos I've taken with friends and family.

Speaking of which, having my picture taken is weird. Old habits die hard because I still find myself angling my face to the camera to "hide" what used to be my lower jaw asymmetry, and I still find myself wanting to "control" how I smile, so that my gums don't make a glaring show of themselves, but then I remember I've had surgery, and that it's okay to just let loose and SMILE!  I'm loving even some candid shots people have taken of me.  Yet, I feel like I have to practice "picture smiling" all over again--- like I need to learn what my "new" best angles are and how wide to smile depending on what look I want to give the camera.  I try doing this in the mirror sometimes, but I think I'm only going to relearn my "picture face" by taking lots and lots of pictures with friends, family, and even some selfies! This is something I would've dreaded before, but now I'm pretty excited about creating tons of new memories that don't include how self conscious I felt WHILE having the picture taken.

Lastly, I've attached a video for you guys.  I don't know if it's just my laptop or if the video's audio really is out of sync, so let me know if you wouldn't mind,  and I can try to fix it.  I'm sorry I haven't posted pictures in forever either!  I promise to do a time-line post of pictures.  I find these illustrations fascinating on other blogs! Might as well see what mine looks like.

xoxo!
A.

Week 4: Surprise! VLOG Update

Hey Everyone,

So yesterday was my 1 month mark, and I'm finally beginning to see the real results of the surgery.  While I could post more pictures, I figured the best way to illustrate some of the progress I've made would be with a video. That, and I got super lazy and didn't feel like organizing my thoughts into a proper blog entry----shhh!  I'll let the video speak for itself, and my apologies in advance for the 12 minute length.  I'm new to making vlog's and I didn't realize how easy it is to go off on a tangent, and then forget your original point.  If I make another vlog, I'll do my best to keep them under 5 minutes.  I also forgot to include a close-up of my bite, and profile shots, but I'll upload some new pics to illustrate those in a future blog post.  Hope you enjoy my vlog update!

3 Weeks!

Yes, 3 whole weeks! And I'm feeling GREAT!  I had my 3 week post-op visit with my Doctor, and she thinks my healing is coming along splendidly!  As she checked on the stitches on the inside of my mouth she was stoked about how fast they were healing.  I chalked it up to the Vitamin C (it's a great vitamin for healing) that I've been taking, and my diet of liquid vegetables and fruit smoothies.  "Whatever it is, it's working" is what I got in response.

Also my swelling is looking MUCH better.  I kept feeling like it stalled or went really slowly week 2 in comparison to week 1, and I kinda thought maybe I'd reached the peak of my rate of decrease in swelling.  To be honest, though, I had gotten very bad at taking my anti-inflammatory supplements in week 2.  I was really distraught about my mid-lines, and being back in tight bands for another two weeks.  I was also in a lot of pain and discomfort because of the bands.  None of that made me look forward to having to grind my nasty tasting vitamins and forcing myself to drink them.  That gagging thing was real! EVERYTIME.  (Note: now I know it was the turmeric that was making everything taste so bad!  I eventually just decided to stop taking that one in week 2).  I think I only took them 3  or 4 times that week.

Some quick bullets on how the rest of the visit went:

• My mid-lines are straight again.  So, funny thing is, when the Doc initially took the bands off, everything was super in line.  After I was allowed to brush my teeth and practice opening and closing for a few minutes, I noticed they were slightly more off than just 5 minutes before.  The Doc showed me the molds of my teeth before surgery and explained that my mid-lines were always just a little bit off and that this would also be addressed with more bands and braces when I go back to the orthodontist.  Picture to come.   
• I now wear 2 rubber bands on only my right side.  I'm to take them off to eat, brush and "exercise" my jaw.  I can open wide enough to fit all my supplement and vitamin pills in though! Yay, no more grinding!
• I exercise my jaw by opening and closing my jaw and trying to slowly keeping pulling my jaws apart from one another. I am to exercise 10 minutes in the mornings and evenings.   
• I've lost 10lbs since surgery.  I know it's not lack of nutrition.  My energy levels were pretty high for week 2.  I was able to do get out of the house quite a bit to run day long errands with my mom.  I did feel exhausted by the time we got back home, but I had made it through the busy days.  I feel like I burned way more calories than what I was taking in.
• I can begin a "soft/mushy food" diet.  
• I no longer have to sleep propped up AND I can even sleep on my sides.  She let me know that I'll probably wake up a bit swollen in the mornings for a bit, but that it would go down quickly as I walked around.  This was great news.  The last 2 nights had been really hard on me.  I just couldn't get comfortable.  So I wasn't getting much sleep.  My body was aching to lie down, but I swear I could feel my face swelling up if I slept with my head turned for too long.  

After my visit with the Doc, I went to see my herbal Doc for my weekly acupuncture appointment.  The acupuncture has been wonderful for relaxing the muscles in my face.  If you're in pain from being in tight bands, ask your Doc about trying acupuncture.  I also got a refill on my herbal tea concoction for the swelling (I drink it 3x a day).

After that I took my mom out to lunch to one of my favorite L.A. fish taco joints (I watched).  And then we decided we needed some retail therapy and went shopping.  While I was trying on a dress that I was pulling up my body rather than over my head, it got stuck, so I pulled harder, when, all of a sudden--- BAM!  I pulled too hard on the dress, it slipped out of my fingers and the back of my hand (with that extra force) went straight into my jaw!  I. ALMOST. DIED.  I immediately broke out into a sweat, and even kinda screamed in the dressing room.  I couldn't decide if I was just more terrified by what I'd done, than I was in pain or the other way around.  I immediately cupped my poor jaw and frantically looked myself over in the mirror-- had I messed up my implant? Were my mid-lines okay? Could I have "moved" my jaw out of place?  I was damn near hysterical for about 2 minutes.  But, as I realized I was okay, and surprisingly not in TOO much pain, I calmed down.  I didn't even finish trying on the dress.  I just got dressed and went to tell my mom it was time to go.  The only pain I felt was very quick upon immediate impact.  I felt it shoot up through the right side of my lower jaw and into my right TMJ.  It was intense on impact, but then it only lingered lightly for another 10 minutes or so.

When it was time for bed, I didn't sleep propped up, but I did sleep with 3 pillows underneath my head.  It was NOT a fun night.  I still kept getting that "swelling" feeling in my face just from not being propped up, let alone being on my sides. I eventually put my airplane/donut shaped pillow back around my head, and that seemed to help a little.  But then I felt some pain coming back into my jaws and TMJ.  There was one moment in particular when I was turning my head, and I felt a sharp pain shoot through my TMJs.  I think, because when I was turning my head my jaw kinda opened wider than it should/could and the pain came as would be expected, but I can't be sure.  All in all, I really didn't get much sleep.

I'm currently at the end of Day 22 (the very next day after my 3 week Doc appointment).  I had another busy, but successful day.  I woke up late from not having slept much, but once I was up, I got dressed (nicely), did my hair and makeup, and had some VERY watery, but very delicious oatmeal for breakfast.  Then, I went out to the movies with my brother, his girlfriend, and my mom.  Afterwards, I indulged in some frozen yogurt (yes, I ate dairy-- haha!), and it was flipping DELICIOUS.  I was able to open wide enough to use the spoon, but not necessarily my top lip (it's still a little numb and my upper lip is still swollen).  For dinner my mom made some "Sopa de Fideo."

It's a traditional Mexican comfort-food dish, and we decided to see if I could get any of it IN my mouth and then down my throat comfortably.  First, I was excited I could use a REAL spoon (I've been using a baby spoon since the beginning).  This was mega cool to me.  Then, I found I was actually able to KINDA crush some of the noodles inbetween some (not all) of my back teeth (my left back molars, not my right).  I still ate most of the noodles whole, but I was pretty pleased with being able to crush down even a few. 

I can also now VERY carefully fit the whole baby toothbrush into my mouth.  I can now brush the insides of my teeth and even in between the top and bottom.  I stress, I do all this very carefully, letting my jaws VERY slowly pry apart from each other in order to allow the brush between them, and then some back and forth movement to brush.  This was my FIRST time being able to brush back there and although it kinda hurt, it was still awesome.  I'm looking forward to improving how much I can open my mouth every day!  All this progress has got me seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!

Tonight will be my second attempt at sleeping in a semi-flat position.  I think I'll still keep my donut pillow and 2 standard pillows underneath my head to help.

I'm sorry, but no pictures in this post!  I honestly haven't taken one in the last few days or so, and I want the pic to be current.  I'll post one tomorrow!  Thanks folks!  

Something Is Not Right (Day 9, 10, 11)

Days 9 and 10: Uh-Oh Something is NOT right

The pain was still off/on on day 9.  I felt it both on both sides of my face.  It was honestly like my right and left cheek muscles were battling over which one wanted to be in worse pain.  I kept controlling the pain with the Children's Tylenol, and took the Hydrocodone on the evening of Day 9 to help me sleep.  At this point, I could feel that part of the pain in my cheeks had to be coming from the fact that I could only feel my back molars touching down on my left side NOT on my right side.  I worried, but I decide this might be one of those orthodontic issues that has to be fixed after surgery. 

On day 10, I was checking on my teeth in the mirror when I noticed that my mid-lines were no longer lining up!  This is how I knew something was DEFINITELY NOT RIGHT with my bite!  I immediately panicked and e-mailed my doctor (at this point, my doctor had actually shared her PERSONAL e-mail address with me in the event I needed to reach her immediately).  I sent her a picture of my teeth to show her my mid-lines, and I explained to her that the TMJ pain on my right side was still a intense, and that I couldn't feel my back molars touching on that side.  She emailed me back within 10 minutes, and asked me to come in the next day.

Mid-lines no longer matching up

On an emotional note, I did cry after noticing this thing with my mid lines.  It was my first real "big cry," and I'll try not to do this again as it aggravated my sinuses, gave me a headache (even worse than I already had), and worried my poor mother to tears too (she hates seeing me in such pain).  I cried out of fear that something had gone wrong with my surgery, and most especially, fear that I'd have to "redo" this surgery.  I just can't imagine going through this all over again.

Day 11:  Post-Op Visit Redux

The Doc didn't even let the nurse take the obligatory pre-Doctor visit vitals, she was so anxious to see me.  She had them wait until after she was done examining me.  Funny enough, her first comment was about how much more my swelling had gone down just in the 4 days since she'd last seen me.  At this point, my swelling was the last thing on my mind, I just wanted an explanation for the mid-lines and pain!

She apologized in advance for what she was about to do as she peered into my mouth, and then proceeded to gently, but definitely firmly, push my jaws into place.  This was automatically painful, but not intolerable.  Again, I was most afraid my jaws weren't ready to handle this kind of "touching," but as many of you have commented in your own recovery blogs, it's amazing to see how fast our bodies are want to recover from trauma.  I winced and wimpered as she pushed my lower and top jaws "into place" so that the mid-lines lined up and then she showed me with a hand mirror, how when she does this my teeth line up correctly.  She explained that what was happening was that my muscles are forcing my lower jaws back into an asymmetric position.  She said that this is common in recovery amongst asymmetric jaw patients.  My muscles need to create new muscle memory and the only way to encourage this is to put me back into tight bands that hold my teeth into the correct alignment.  When she did this, oddly enough my bite (even though it doesn't touch down on the right side) automatically felt "more right."  She even asked me if I felt better in the tighter bands, and when I said yes she said this was another solid signal to her that it was indeed my muscles fighting back.  As an added precaution she sent me for another X-ray, just to be sure that there wasn't a problem with the actual surgery and/or movement of any bones.  We got them back right away, and as she expected, everything looks beautiful.  She explained that I can't feel my back molars on my right side touching because this is an orthodontic issue.  Once I'm able to go back to my ortho Doc, he'll align my back right teeth into position.

Mid-lines correctly line up in tight bands. Notice my back right molars don't touch; very stress/painful on my cheek muscles on my right and left sides because of this.

I cannot explain the mixed emotions I felt coming out of that Doc's office well enough.  On the one hand I was more than ecstatic I wouldn't be needing surgery again, and that this was just a "muscle memory" thing.  On the other hand, I was getting put back into tight bands (and misery) for 2 more weeks (making it a total of 3 weeks of being TIGHTLY banded).  I had just gotten used to my loose bands and the ability to speak and not SLURP back saliva after every sentence.  I had been looking forward to practicing opening my mouth wider and wider every day to get on with this healing, and to move on to a mushy food diet (at least), but all of that was now going to have to wait another 2 weeks.  My mom was the one who had to remind me that I knew going into this that it wouldn't be easy, and that I would have good and bad days, and that to her, today was a good day.  She was right.  And with that, we headed off to the farmers market for fresh veggies that we could puree into soups--- my new diet.

Speaking of diet, at my Day 7 and Day 11 Doctor visits, I showed a total of 6lbs (2 kg) lost.  Doc was pleased with this, and said that it means I've kept up with my nutrition.  She asked what I've been eating, and I rattled off some of the various kinds of liquids I "eat."  At some point, I'd like to devote an entire post to some of the liquid diet items and recipes I've been eating for all of you to look into.  The first 3 days were the most "boring," but my mom and I have gotten REALLY creative, and have managed to make some incredibly yummy soup-meals.  I've kept up a vegan diet throughout this, so all of my smoothies and soups are made from fresh vegetables, fruits, and non-dairy milks.  I highly recommend investing (or maybe borrowing from a friend) in a VitaMix.  This thing is simply incredible, and so much more than a blender.  They're expensive, but honestly, if I had to do this surgery all over again, I'd throw down the $300-$400 bucks for this machine again in a heartbeat.

So far I've updated you to Day 11.  I'm currently on Day 17 and there have been improvements to my overall pain, energy, and comfort levels.  But I'll leave that for yet another blog entry to come.  Until then, be well fellow jaw surgery adventurers.

Day 11.  Back to tight bands, but making the most of it with some delicious soup.  See pic below.

 

Roasted Beet & Potato Soup.  I don't normally like root vegetables (like broccoli or beets), but this soup was AMAZING! I was so pleasantly surprised by how nicely the flavors blended together, garnished with just a bit of lemon zest. Yum!  Recipe to follow in subsequent post. PS: Beets are amazing food for healing.

1st Post-Op: OUCH! (Day 7 & 8)

Hello Everyone!

First, my apologies for the delay in updating! I know I left you guys on a bit of a cliff hanger on day 6, right before my first post-op appointment.  Honestly, at first the off/on pain I was experiencing this past week (week 2) really made it difficult for me to focus enough on updating the blog, but I tried to keep a (written) list of things I wanted to include once I felt more up to blogging.  So, for now let me backtrack a little to get you guys up to speed.  I'm going to split this VERY long update into separate posts in an effort to not make this blog a novel every time you read it.  :)  Thanks for all your support, cheers, and check-in's on me.  I haven't told any friends or family about this blog (except my Mom and Doctor), but I already feel like I have an extended family of friends in all of you out there.  I'm rooting for all of you too! 

Day 7: 1st Post-Op Doc Update

I was practically dying of anticipation to get to the Doc.  I wanted to know the details of how the surgery went, what she thought of my healing and swelling, but most especially I wanted her to cut my bands off and let my jaw open.  By late evening on day 6, I had noticed that my cheek muscles on both sides, but especially my right side were getting really sore.  It was like they were screaming at me to exercise, or move or something, anything to "stretch" them.  Imagine my surprise then, when the Doc cut the bands, and I immediately felt my whole body tense up in fear, anticipation of the worst, and, uh-oh, PAIN!  Immediate sharp pain in my right TMJ.  I also noticed that I instinctively (and comically) reached up to "support" by bottom jaw from "falling off" my face.  The minute I did that, I didn't know whether to laugh or keep taking deep fearful breaths because, of course, my jaw wasn't going to fall off!  I just got scared that without the bands holding my mouth tightly shut, my bottom jaw wouldn't know how to stay in place.  Even my mom kinda laughed when she saw me do this.  Even more distracting was that sudden pain though.  The Doc let me know my initial panic and pain was normal, and soothingly rubbed an ice pack (that she already had prepared before she cut the bands) over my forehead (I had actually broken out in a cold sweat).

This was before I saw the Doc.  I have swelling in my nose, cheeks and upper and lower lips. You can kinda see the yellow bruising on my neck too, but this was gone by Day 12 or so. 

Swelling is way more evident from the side, but check out that new chin! Also the red mark on my cheek is the stitch the Doc made on either side of my face. And the stuff on my chin is the glue from the chin guard thing I had to wear all week.

She took a look in my mouth and marveled at how fast everything was healing.  The stitches on my top jaw were already beginning to fall out (not so much on the bottom).  She was pleased with how "clean" I had kept my mouth (thank you water pik and baby tooth brush), and announced I could stop taking the antibiotic I had been prescribed.  On days 5, 6, and 7 I seemed to be taking my Hydrocodone only as needed, which happened to be at night, and very first thing in the mornings.  If I didn't take it at night, I usually woke up in AGONY (and I mean tears and everything) either in the middle of the night or very early in the morning.  Because of this the Doc gave me a refill for the next week, but was otherwise pleased with my healing thus far.  I reiterated to her that I was still feeling that sharp TMJ pain before I left, but she attributed this to having worked on my right side for longer than she did on my left.

She then said that I wouldn't be in tight bands anymore, but instead two "loose" bands on either side of my mouth, and encouraged me to do lip exercises to help my muscles loosen up around my lips.  This involves making kissy and smiley faces. 

It was GLORIOUS to be in looser bands and actually able to speak clearly.  I asked if I could try "mushy" foods now, as opposed to ONLY liquids, and she seemed to be okay with me trying, but not "overdoing" it. 

Day 8:  PAIN

After I got home from the previous day's post-op visit, I couldn't get any relief from that TMJ pain so I took Hydrocodone to help and slept until Day 8.  I woke up, still in pain, but this time it was a general pain (7/10) ALL OVER my face.  I really didn't want to take Hydrocodone all day long to control the pain, so instead I changed an appointment I had already set for the day with my herbal doctor (to get my herbs for the swelling) to also make it an acupuncture appointment (for the pain).

This was my very first acupuncture appointment, and I am pleased to report to you all that I felt IMMEDIATE relief afterward.  It wasn't 100% relief, but initially it was at least 50% better, and only got better throughout the day.  Don't know what they put in those needles, but I'm officially a believer. I managed to go the rest of the day and night without needing the Hydrocodone.  I took Children's Tylenol instead. 

Eating:  Uh, so I can't eat ANYTHING. I couldn't even get mashed potatoes into my mouth.  I'm back to liquids.  The only upside to being able to open my mouth even a little is that I can speak clearly, and that I can now VERY slowly and VERY gently push my vitamins/supplements into my mouth.  Crushing/Blending them into juice is SO DISGUSTING.  No, really. I'm not exaggerating.  I gagged every time.